Detention
by PosionQuill
Summary: In which Loki and Thor discover the Internet. And Iron Man gets his groove on. What follows are sexy results. No, not smut. Unfortunately. Rated T, I guess, because the closest thing to smut is the word "sexy".


Detention

**I don't own anythin'. The songs, the characters, nothing. Just the story. I've said it, so you can't sue me. And no, that's not a challenge.**

**Dear all who had the misfortune of reading this, **

**I have a friend who writes fanfics and such with me. I know her in real life. She is known as The Jellyfish. We're at the start of getting into The Avengers fandom, but I told her I was going to watch the Iron Man movies at the weekend, but I didn't. Somehow, we twisted this into her setting me homework, and as I didn't do my homework, she has sent me into detention. The punishment I have recieved during detention (giggity) is that I must come up with and write a fanfic about what little I know about The Avengers - without looking anything up. And the worst part is, I'm not allowed to write a smut of fluffy fic! I'm also not allowed to edit this. Ever.**

**True to my word, I haven't looked anything up online or gone online while writing except to publish this. So, to all those Avengers fans, I am extrememly sorry for getting any facts wrong (which I know I will).**

**Yours truly,**

**The Panda**

"What are you doing, brother?" Thor asked, leaning against the golden wall of the Asgard kingdom, sipping a rasberry smoothie (because he was on a diet that day). Loki, in all his sexy glory, had his perfect butt sat onto a gorgeous Game-of-Thrones-styled chair in his mega-bedroom (everything is better when it's mega).

"Why, brother dearest, I am currently using this device I found from the other world!" Loki grinned (oh Merlin, he's so sexy). What sat in his lap (giggity) was a pink, foldable device with a keyboard attached to the bottom half while a screen rested benevolently on the top. "It's called a labdob. Or laptop. The person who gave it to me slurred a lot." Thor swaggered over to his brother, his golden hair flowing like that chic from the Baywatch movie. "What can it do?" Thor asked, bending over slightly (giggity) to look over Loki's shoulder (squee!).

At this current moment, the screen held pictures of ninja cats engaging in the most awesome battles (supplied by Tumblr). "Well, nearly everything, aesthetic-wise. And it provides music of the strangest kind!"

"What do you mean?" Thor laughed, amused.

"I'll show you later, but first -" he clicked on something, and the screen became enveloped in a blueish light. "- I need your opinion on this...this Tumblr thing."

"Tumbler? Isn't that a person who...who tumbles down a hill or something?" Thor moved and sat down next to his brother.

"I thought the same thing. Oh, I will never be the same after this day..." Loki put the back of his hand to his forehead, as if he were to faint dramatically.

"Stop speaking nonsense! How could some strange magic device filled with sound and pictures 'change' you, Loki?" Thor air-quoted using his hands (what else would he use?...don't answer that).

"You would be surprised." Loki shuddered, and they began browsing through Loki's dashboard, coming across several equally funny and equally disturbing images and thoughts.

"...so if I'm reincarnated into everyone, but I interact with everyone, does that make me you, Loki?"

"I think that makes me you as well."

"...And mother...and father..."

"...And Spiderman..."

"And the raspberries in that smoothie..."

But then a picture of a dog with sunglasses popped up on the screen, and the two grown men laughed like girls. They clicked on the picture, followed several links, and eventually they ended up on Facebook.

"Ooh!" Loki squealed, "Tony's online..."

Tony Stark, just jamming in his Iron Man armour/costume/outfit (go away, hardcore fans, I'm not allowed to look its name up), was browsing on Facebook, updating his status. Yay! Hulk commented on his profile picture! OMFG ASDFGHJKL BATMAN LIKED A PICTURE TONY WAS TAGGED IN! EEEEE!

Then, one of his Friends messaged him.

_good evening_

_oh heeeeyyy Loki_

_hows it going? :)_

_just fine u? :)_

_showin Thor internet for teh 1st time lol_

"What's lol meant to mean?" Thor pointed at the screen.

"L.O.L, Thor." Loki slapped his hand away from the screen. "It means 'laugh out loud'."

Thor, slightly more grumpy now.

_so hes with u right now?_

_yes :D_

_hello Thor :)_

"You can reply back, you know." Loki said, taking his fingers away from the keyboard.

Gingerly, Thor typed _hello_ before tapping on the Enter key as he had Loki do after typing.

_omg Loki hav u heard that new KP 3oh!3 song that's out?! :D_

Suddenly Loki was typing with the same quick and swift movements of a professional blogger.

_omfg it sounds so cool _

_i bet u know all the lyrics by now anyway_

_obviously lol but it just sounds so cool shes so sexy too_

"Um..."

"Oh, brother mine..." Loki chuckled, "This woman on Earth. Katy Perry. She just did a collaberation with another...shall we say...musical group. Fantastic song."

"You never talk like this normally." Thor pondered out loud, folding his arms.

"Of course not! If you don't know what most of these words and abbreviations mean, do you honestly expect mother and father to?"

"..."

Loki continued typing.

_omg we should meet up_

_oh god yes_

And that was why Iron Man came over (giggity).

"Loki wouldn't show me the song until you arrived." Thor pouted.

"Oh, it was meant to be a surprise! Now go sit in the corner and weigh yourself or whatever it is you do if you won't be civil." At this, Tony laughed as he plugged his portable speaker into Loki's still-surprisingly-pink laptop.

"So, where did you get this from, anyway?" Tony asked.

"I was on Earth and somehow found my way in this girl's room. I was interested in her laptop, and she let me keep it. Though, she did look a bit dazed when she saw me..." Loki pondered the meaning of this while Tony merely rolled his eyes.

"Okay...don't know how you're still connected to Wifi while in another world, but...okay, it's on." Tony ran over to Loki, and like two excited girls, they simply stood there grinning at eachother and holding their hands (their own hands, not each others'. Sorry, Toki shippers).

"Come on, hor! We'll show you the dance!" Loki waved to his frowning brother, gesturing for him to go over to the excited fangirls - ahem, grown men.

Grumbling slightly, Thor dragged his feet over to Loki and Tony.

"Okay," Tony began, "just follow our lead, and watch what they do in the video, and you should get it after a couple of goes."

Then the music started. Thor listened carefully to the music, before the lyrics started, and tried to copy Loki and Tony.

"No! Tony is supposed to be inbetween us! Move there!" Loki moved Thor to the right side of Tony, much to Thor's protesting ("don't man-handle me like that!"). What shocked Thor more was the posions they had taken (giggity) in mirroring the 3 people in the video. There was one woman in the middle with shiny black hair whom hor assumed was "Katy", and two men were on either side. Why was Mirroring the woman?! hat did that mean?!

He moved like an awkward turtle, but began to get into it. The song had a catchy rhythm. Then the guys started singing.

_Nice legs, Daisy dukes, makes a man go Woo-Woo!_

_That's the way they all come through like Woo-Woo! Woo-Woo!_

What...? That sounded a bit weird.

_Low cut, see-through, shirts that make you Woo-Woo!_

_That's the way she comes through like Woo-Woo! Woo-Woo!_

_'Cuz I..._

Then it was Tony's time to shine while Thor attempting to mumble the lyrics to seem like he actually knew what in Odin's name was going on.

_Just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down _('_Cuz I..._)

_Just set them up, just set them up, just set them up to knock them down!_

Oh god, did Tony just do the slut-drop?!

Despite the occasional misplaced feeting and wrongly-timed hand movements (giggity), Thor was actually getting into this. When did Loki even learn this?

_I think I should know...how...to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out...now..._

_L.O.V.E's just another word I never learned to pronounce!_

"But he just said the word 'love'!" Thor pointed out.

"Shut up, Thor!" Loki said.

_L.O.V.E's just another word I never learned to pronounce!_

Now, he was genuinely getting into this. It was so much fun! Why had no-one ever told him about this?! If only he could do this with his other friends.

While they were in the zone, their parents simply peeked through the crack in the door, partly in mild horror, partly in amusement, and partly in absolute confusion.

"I told you Loki got his hips from me, dear." The queen of Asgard giggled.

"He's not even yours."

"Well, _I_ was the one who taught him to be so fabulous."

The king of Asgard couldn't argue there.

The second verse played, and the three girls - cough, cough, the three _grown men_ were feeling unbelievably outstanding as they danced to the song. They also felt surprisingly sexy. Hmm, sexy...

Tony stepped forward, flicking his arms out like a princess.

_You know that type of s**t just don't work on me!_

_Whistling and trying to flirt with me!_

_Don't take it personally_

_'Cuz we were never in love_

_It doesn't really matter who you say you are!_

_Singing at the window of your car!_

_Find another girl across the bar_

_'Cuz L.O.V.E's not what this was..._

Then Loki, Tony and Thor stepped back into a line, and the finale of the song blasted in all its glory.

_I think I should know...! How...! To make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out! Now...!_

_L.O.V.E's just another word I never learned to pronounce! _

_How...?! Do I say I'm sorry? 'Cuz the word is never gonna come out! Now...!_

_L.O.V.E's just another word I never learned to pronounce!_

And they finally ended in the final position (giggity), with Tony facing Loki, Thor lined up against Tony's back, with their right hands pointed towards the ceiling, all of them facing the front.

After a few moments, just before it got awkward, they relaxed and laughed. Then, they stepped away from each other and continued to laugh (I say "laugh"...they were giggling like middle-school girls).

Ever since, Thor, Loki and Tony have been a lot closer to each other. They were totally BFF's, it was so cute. They learned several new dances, including wonderful songs such as Lady Gaga's Bad Romance and

Ke$ha's Tic Toc. Sadly, a picture of Justin Bieber had sneaked its way onto Loki's dashboard, and it freaked them out so much that Thor blasted it with lightnening, so they had to use Tony's laptop from that day on. No-one ever managed to slut-drop as good as Tony.

And they lived happily ever after.

**Well. That happened.**


End file.
